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Stress & Remote Control I think most of us would agree that we’re living in an environment full of stressors and if we don’t have the appropriate coping skills and abilities for dealing with them, our mental and physical health can be negatively impacted by. We know that chronic stress weakens our immune system and those who suffer from it can experience symptoms such as anxiety and depression to name a few. The fact is that there are and will be stressors around us so the issue isn’t about how to get rid of them because we simply can’t, the issue is how to not let these stressors internalize us, in other words not to let them to become an integral part of our nature and belief system. I read somewhere that one of the factors that promote mental stress is one’s expectations of oneself or of others and when some of these expectations are not fulfilled the result is internal emotional and mental stress. And the thing is often expectations are unrealistic and impracticable. I am not saying that we shouldn’t set goals in our lives to do better. I am not saying that we shouldn’t set standards for ourselves and for our kids. The point that I’m trying to make is that we must set those goals for ourselves that are realistic and achievable. We must also understand and accept that we do not have control over others hence we cannot expect other people, even our loved ones, to live up to our expectations. Since we are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, we shouldn’t expect others to live up to our expectations either. But the problem is that we expect everybody else to behave and follow the same standards that we do ourselves in life. I think we should keep reminding ourselves that every individual is unique with distinctive belief system and abilities and often what we expect from others is unrealistic. Maybe others are performing their best but are incapable of providing what we expect them to deliver. We must not think that others should share our perspective on various aspects in life such as definition of a functional family, child rearing, religious belief, politics etc. Like one of my colleagues, when I work with people who come to see me for stress related issues, we spend some times working on the issue of expectation and how to overcome it accordingly. I use the metaphor of the need for taking back the remote control of our life from other people. One of buttons on that remote control is labelled EXPECTATION. Let’s not give away the remote control of our life to others. What do you think?

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Parents want to teach and coach their children to handle problems accordingly. They also want them to form robust and healthy relationships. But I wonder if parents actually have the wherewithal to carry it off. Our family environment is the primary school where we have an opportunity to learn about our own emotions and feelings. We learn how to feel about ourselves and how everybody else reacts to our feelings. We also learn about hopes and fears and how to articulate them. We absorb these emotional learnings firstly, by what our parents say or tell us directly and secondly, by the very approach they take to handle their own feelings and emotions amongst themselves. One thing is for sure, parenting demands more than intellect. Effective parenting means getting involved with emotions. Researchers have found that in addition to IQ, we need to be aware of our emotions and feelings and have the ability to control them and this will determine the level of our happiness and success in various aspects of life including but not limited to personal and family relationships…..

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Yarra Holistic Healing | Family and Hypnotherapy Services

Towards a Better Life! We have resources within ourselves to resolve complaints, problems and make the changes we want or need to. With your permission, I can help you access and discover your inner resources, capabilities and to become happier, calmer and have a healthier relationship. I’d like to offer my services in; Clinical Hypnotherapy: • Weight loss • Stop Smoking • Anxiety and Stress Management • Sleep Disorders • Eating Disorders (Anorexia, Bulimia) • Nail Biting • Phobias & Fears • Sexual Health • Moving On (Loss) Clinical Family and Couple Therapy: • Marital problems including separation and divorce issues • Issues involving the Family’s transitional stages of life • Domestic violence and abuse • Premarital counseling • Couple relationship challenges • Work-related problems • Self-harm • The effects of trauma Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) • Disturbing memories • Sexual and/or Physical abuse • Phobias • Panic attacks Touraj Afshar 0409 219 210 touraj@yarraholistichealing.com.au www.yarraholistichealing.com.au

What is Hypnotherapy? In Hypnosis you are guided into a state of relaxation where your body and mind relax. You can hear everything and you know where you are at all times. You are also able to move and adjust at any time and if you need to you can open your eyes. Hypnotherapy is a results-focused form of treatment that does not involve the emotional pain. By dealing directly with the subconscious mind, Hypnotherapy by-passes many of the obstacles and barriers the conscious mind creates to making successful change. Hypnosis is more than relaxation and positive thought. Through hypnotherapy process, one can discover the root cause of one’s negative thoughts and behavioural patterns and neutralize it so any thoughts and discomfort associated with that memory will be gone permanently. The results of treatment using Hypnotherapy can take effect immediately. Many clients often experience profound change over the course of several treatments. For the client, the experience is painless, enjoyable and relaxing.