Happy new month kamchess fans, may this new month give us good tidings

Laugh it out Dear Coca-Cola, Those people in your ads, the way they grab a bottle of Coca Cola from a cooler filled with ice cubes, the way they open the bottle and drink continuously, as if they have the thirst of a thousand camels in the Namib desert. They drink continuously from the bottle with their faces slightly upwards, eyes closed passionately, throats moving softly as they swallow, then pause to look at the bottle of Coca Cola with a loving smile, and then they wipe off drops of water from the Coca Cola label with their thumb. Well, I went to a shop and asked for a cold Coke. The way I was thirsty, I would drink the Coke as if I was shooting a Coca Cola ad. I would drink it as if I were drinking water after a vigorous workout at the gym. I sat down on a wooden bench outside the shop. I opened the bottle dramatically, as if I was being filmed for the best Coca Cola ad of the century. Even before the bottle top fell down, the mouth of the bottle was in mine. I tried drinking it continuously (like in those ads) but I immediately felt some of the beverage foam and rise into my maxillary sinuses, and so some of it sprayed out from my nose while I choked on the rest of it. I coughed out my lungs. I coughed out my soul. My entire respiratory system was in distress. My heart was collapsing. Watery, bloodshot eyes. Wet, flaring nostrils. Trembling body. My entire face, my shirt, and my laps were soaked in Coke, saliva, mucus and tears. I had seen death. I had caught a glimpse of my tomb. That was attempted murder. An assassination attempt. A serious threat on my life. Chei! You Coca Cola liars. Lucifer is soaking the firewood that will consume you in 900,123,567,679,000 litres of chlorine triflouride. Written by Wanga kavenji

Little humor for the day But these women who have the habit of demanding to be taken on expensive dates and then order for expensive food and then eat just one spoonful from their plates and declare that they are full, what gives? Me, if I'm a man and you demand I take you to that expensive place, and you order that expensive food that has a difficult name, and then you take two bites, two little bites from your plate then announce that you are full, we will fight. I will fold the sleeves of my shirt and kick off my shoes. I will remove my spectacles and place them carefully on the table. I will get off my chair and hold my fists in front of my face in a ready-to-fight position and ask you what you are waiting for. I will flex my fingers and stretch my arms and move my neck this way and that way, as if I'm Floyd Mayweather and I'm about to beat up the guy who just said that I can't read. That food that is barely touched is the equivalent of a Range Rover and 3 months' rent. I took a loan from the bank, took a salary advance and sold my ancestors' land so that I can pay for it. And then you sniff just two spoonfuls and say you are full. You are full? Full of what, crap? We will fight, my friend. That food that you've pushed away from you saying that you can't eat anymore after two bites is the equivalent of the national budget. I committed fraud and embezzled funds from my employer's company, I got into money laundering and drug trafficking, and I even joined Illuminati so that I can pay for it. And then you just give it a cursory glance and say that you are full. Full of what, shit? We will fight, my friend. That food you're looking at as if it's the reason why your ex screwed your best friend is the equivalent of Bill Gates' net worth. I got into organ harvesting and sold people's organs in the black market, I participated in a bank heist and stole shitloads of cash, and I even sold my soul to the devil so that I can pay for it. And then you just hear its name and say you are full. Full of what, evil? We will fight, my friend. You do not do that to the buyer of your food. You do not disrespect and insult the chefs who painstakingly prepared the dish like that. "I don't eat much," you lie. And yet, when I first met you, which was a few days ago, you were sitting alone at a table in a fast food restaurant eating 5 burgers, 8 large pizzas, 2 dinosaurs, 57 human beings and a whale. And you don't even want the food wrapped so that you can carry it home. We will fight, my friend. I will remove my shirt and my trousers and place them neatly on my chair because I don't want them to be ruined since I will wear them to work tomorrow. I will stand in front of you in my vest, boxers and socks and do a few taekwondo moves and several karate kicks, screaming "hiiiyaa!" in a shrill, high-pitched voice and tell you to come fight me because it seems like you are not afraid of consequences. You will whisper that I am embarrassing you in front of other patrons who are watching us with interest. The manager will come and ask us what the matter is. "This one has refused to eat!" I will tell him, pointing at you. "Why? Is there something wrong with the food?" "Not the food, HER. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER AND SHE WANTS A FIGHT!" I will say while warming up for the fight. The manager will calm me down and tell me sensible things like how it's important to solve personal matters quietly and without violence. I will nod and apologise to him. I will look at the untouched food in front of you. I will look at you for 5 minutes straight and sigh deeply. Then I will take my clothes and tell you I'm going to the Gents to wear them, I'll be back. I will pass by a waiter and tell him that you'll take care of the bill. That he should give you the bill. Then I will wear my clothes in the parking lot and go home. Food is a big deal. Eat. Or we'll fight, my friend. Written by ➡ Wanja Kavenji

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To our very own Boss ...Kamchess CEO.may the good Lord bless you,uplift you,elevate and continue to dustinguish and grant all your heart desires and push you to your next level in Jesus name Amen. Do shakara its your day.

You can be whoever you want to be but first, you have to make the necessary sacrifice to get there, that is determination and perseverance- kamchess ceo

Majority of the world's 1.3billion absolute poor are women. On average, women receive between 30 and 40 percent less pay than men earn for the same work. Women also continue to be victims of violence with rape and domestic violence listed as significant causes of disability and death among women worldwide. International women's day is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. This day also makes a call to action for accelerating gender parity. This is a call to women all over the world, young or old, irrespective of our skin colour or body size to hold our heads high up whilst having a common goal of bringing gender inequality and female violence to a complete halt. Queen Cassandra

Photos from Kamchess enterprise's post

When the hand of God is upon your life and all that you do,unlimited Favour follows you all round. Great Morning Support from a Kind Hearted Man :* ({}) ......8 Shirts paid for this morning to Support this Project. \=D/ Keep your Supports Coming. 8 Lucky and Highly Favoured people should indicate and turnup early.for pickups. Please lovelies don't forget to join me,the CEO of posh gazelle,and our beautiful queens for the walk against cancer coming up Tomorrow 4th of February. let's raise our voices against cancer,let's honor the heroes who have fallen, let's give hope to those fighting to stay alive! Let's say NO to Cancer.let's all come out and be part of a Cancer free World.... There would be FREE SCREENING\=D/ for all. Dresscode: Pink or Blue. Limited Shirts and caps.purchase yours Now! Venue:Council Roundabout ikotun Idimu. Time:7am Please Support the Exercise. For Direction and enquiries please contact:08068104713,08063216518.Bbm:26A2453C Please help Rebroadcast.thank you :*

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Bouquet by Kamchess, let's do your occasions right with your choice bouquet e.g weddings, pageantry, events e.t.c

For the recipe of any of the food shown, do comment, then we do a recipe to help you prepare it!

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Inviting, yummy!

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When Ogbono,okra combo meets Akpu it goes down smooth