Lucy Baker

WELLDOING.ORG THERAPIST Q AND A What attracted you to become a therapist? I started studying counselling to really understand who I was, as I felt that I was more than the negative attributes that were created by a conditioned society. Why did I not fit in? What purpose I had in life? I was working as a volunteer, before I decided to follow this career. I was part of a charity “Community Mums & Dads” in Thurrock, Essex. In this job role I was appreciated and valued, not only by the staff, but the service users. I was making a difference not only to other parents, but to me, I started to realize that I had an “Identity”, I was already doing something amazing, which is not recognized as a job and I was doing it well: “I am a mum”, using skills such as accountant, nurse, teacher, cook, best friend…etc We used a lot of counsellor skills, so I was a little bit ready to understand confidentiality, the importance of active listening and how to take of my own well-being. I got to see my strengths by doing this job role as a volunteer and I won the award of the best volunteer of the year in 2013 from the NELT. This boosted my confidence and I wanted to understand how to give the same good feeling, empowerment to other people who felt they did not fit, like the Ugly Duckling fairy tale. That why the name of my service is “Ugly Duckling Counselling” Where did you train? I started doing my level 2 in the Community Adult College in Grays, Thurrock, Essex. To continue with Level 3 and Diploma in Southessex College in Basildon & Southend, Essex. My student placement was with “Changing Pathways” part of Women’s Aid What sort of people do you usually see? Young Adults aged 16, men & women who are going changes in their life, suffering with Depression, Anxiety, self-harm, looking for direction and purpose, relationships difficulties, gender identification, BMI background, loss and grief & victims of Domestic Abuse. What makes me unique is the fact that I can speak in four languages: Spanish, English, Hindi & Shindi, so I can work with clients that need therapy, but the language is a barrier. What do you like about being a therapist? Seeing the client grow, notice the change in their body language, looking and feeling confident. I love what I do, because it is who I am. Be able to manage family life, friendships, me time and really being contented. What is less pleasant? When clients cancel or does not attends How long you have been with welldoing.org and what you think of us? Since it got launched, if I am not wrong late 2017. I like the fact that this company is run by therapists themselves, so they understand what it is to be a struggling therapist. Always helpful and encouraging. Any time I need to contact them, they are responsive. The price, the website which is easy to understand and access for the clients as much as the therapists, the diary and message system, the confidential information is protective, has his own Facebook community page, Calm App subscription included in the price and I really enjoy the weekly CPD newsletter sent. I will be recommended to anyone. Have you used the booking and payment system? And how do you find that? No, I haven’t yet, looking forward tough Have you joined the welldoing.org Therapist Community on Facebook? If so, how did you find it? Absolutely fantastic Do you ever suggest books or apps to clients? Yes, I do, mostly “Headspace”, “Calm”, You tube in some videos, “Truity.com” test of the types of personality by Myers Briggs. Audiobooks or hard copy of “Man in searching meaning of life” By Vicktor Frankl What you do for your own mental health? I suffer from Anxiety and depression myself, so I need to manage it like the clients do, I have my supervision regularly, I write my journal, I use the techniques of CBT, breathing exercises, meditation, read, listen to audiobooks, walk and have good relation with my kids, partner and friends. I talk about my own mental health too, take my prescribed antidepressant tablets and attend personal counselling when needed. You see clients in their homes, in the areas of Essex: Thurrock, Basildon, Laindon, Chelmsford, Benfleet. I hire a room in Stanford-le-Hope, Thurrock Essex. What’s your consultation room like? They are local areas, but I know them, so I feel more comfortable. What do you wish people knew about therapy? It is for everyone, it is not because you have something wrong with you, or you are a “crazy or a weak person”. It is more common and a real pain that can stop you from achieving happiness and feeling complete. Sometimes I think, it is like magic, that really works, even if it is scary. It makes the world a bit more bearable, it is like physiotherapy, but for the brain and soul What did you learn about yourself in therapy? It is ok to be human; it is ok to be me, it is ok if I don’t understand everything, that I agree with the ethical principles and values of counselling. It a way of just been and how to look at challenges in a different perception.

CV 2019 MBACP Counselor Linkedin

The Master Shift

So easily said, but can be more painful than it looks. Firstly we need to be more brave, because acknowledging that, we are in darkness to ourselves is really scary, embarrassing, the second step is to speak about that darkness with someone we can trust, someone who is going to not judge, just will hug us, because we are us. That person can be your mum, dad, sibling, a team member, neighbor, one of your kids, your best friend, a professional or your life partner. Whoever you choose, it will be possible to start lighting the way 😁

A man living in fear is always trembling inside.He continuously on the point of going insane, because life is big, and if you are continuously fearful then there is every kind of fear. You can make a big list and you will be surprised how many fears are there, & you are still alive!!! There are infections all around, diseases, dangers, kidnapping, terrorists_ & life is so small. And finally there is death, which you cannot avoid. Your whole life will become dark. DROP the FEAR. The fear was taken up by you unconsciously in your childhood. Now consciously DROP IT!! and be mature. And then life can be LIGHT which keeps on internalizing within, as you keep on growing and living HAPPILY!! OSHO

Ugly Duckling Counselling Service

Another Perspective

I was reading this book which was recommended to me, is called "On death and Dying" Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. I found this poem in the book. Reading it made me look at the difficulties in life in a total different manner. I understood the four major Existential questions: ​​ * Freedom which comes with the added responsibilities *Loneliness *What is my purpose in life *Death that we all face in silence, inner somewhere in our subconscious, in the depth of our hearts, the fear that creates this icy cold feeling that we all try our best to avoid, here it goes: "Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for stilling of my pain, but the heart to conquer it. Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield, but to own my own strength Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved, but hope for the patience to win my freedom. Grant me that I may not be a coward, feeling your mercy in my success alone; but let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure" www.uglyducklingtransform.com

Self-care I don’t know how many times I have heard “Self-care Varsha, know your boundaries, if you do not it will affect your well-being” Ok apart from sounding very intelligent this manner of speaking I don’t get it!!! Yes, I know the basics: eat well, do exercise, yoga and meditation. We get bombarded enough about it, or just in case you did not know this X item is bad for your health, or this new alternative item Z is great. Sometimes I doubt the concept of this healthy statistics or new products; mostly because I do feel that sometimes this really “Good and Trendy” stuff, is another way of making money. Well that is entirely a different idea of what I am trying to say about self-care. Please, please can someone dissect the idea and put it in simple and readable language?? Hurrah, my supervisor got me this wheel of self-care, that someone very clever done the work for me. So here it goes, not mine work, I am just changing the design of reading it. But THANKS for making some sense of it, because now I can have an imaginary tick list to cross and really highlight where I am lacking and pass it to other people. ​ There are six parts to this concept of Self-care Physical Psychological Emotional Spiritual Personal Professional Physical Psychological Safe housing *Self-reflection, Therapy, Journal Regular medical care *Self-awareness Exercise * Music/Drawing/Gardening/Dancing Be sexual *What are my strengths Get enough sleep * Asking and Receiving Help Holidays/time off Massages, Bubble Baths, Acupuncture Kisses, Cuddles Taking a walk Turn off the phone Get "me" time Eat healthy Emotional Personal Affirmations *Learn who you are Practice Forgiveness *What you want out of life Self-Love/Self-compassion *Short/Long terms goals Cry/Laugh *Make a Vision Board Social Justice Engagement *Foster Friendships Hobbies *Go dating Flirting *Get yourself out of debt Treating yourself *Just relax, without feeling guilty Loving your pet *Write Poem/Book *Spend time with family/people that make you happy *Cook * Learn a new instrument Spiritual Self-Reflection Go into nature Find spiritual community Meditate/Sing/Dance Be inspired Being a child again Pray Find a spiritual mentor Volunteer Foster self-forgiveness Professional Take time for lunch Set boundaries Do not do overtime Leave Work @work When is your time off is your time not work's Get regular supervision Ask for support from your colleagues Take mental health days Learn to say "NO" Plan your next career move Take a class Take vacation+sick days

One of my clients sent me this lovely way of explaining good and bad days using the conversation from two beloved children's characters. She shared it from a from a friend of hers, and it goes like this: "Piglet" Said Pooh "Yes Pooh" Said Piglet "Do you ever have days when everything feels like.....Not Very Ok at all?? And sometimes you don't even know why, you just know that you do Not feel Very Ok" Piglet nodded his head sagely "Oh Yes" Said Piglet "I definitely have those days" "Really?" said Pooh in surprise. "I would never have thought that. You always seem so happy and like you have got everything in life all sorted out." "Ah," said Piglet. "Well here's the thing. There are two things that you need to know, Pooh. The first thing is that even those pigs, bears, and people, who seen have got everything in life all sorted out... they probably haven't. Actually, everyone has days when they feel Not Very Okay At All. Some people are just better at hiding it than others." "And the second thing that you need to know," continued Piglet, "is that it's okay to feel Not Very Okay At All, is come and find me, and tell me. Don't ever feel like you have to hide the fact you're feeling Not Very Okay At All. Always come and tell me. Because I will always be there x."

Ugly Duckling Counselling Service

My dear sister Sangita Nanwani sent me this morning this message in what's Up. I like so much that I decided to share it on this page. The poem is written in Spanish by Mario Andrade, but thanks to the wonderful internet I found the translation, so here it is: The Valuable Time of Maturity - Poem by Mário de Andrade " I counted my years and discovered that I have less time to live going forward than I have lived until now. I have more past than future. I feel like the boy who received a bowl of candies. The first ones, he ate ungracious, but when he realized there were only a few left, he began to taste them deeply. I do not have time to deal with mediocrity. I do not want to be in meetings where parade inflamed egos. I am bothered by the envious, who seek to discredit😍🤩🤗 the most able, to usurp their places, coveting their seats, talent, achievements and luck. I do not have time for endless conversations, useless to discuss about the lives of others who are not part of mine. I do not have time to manage sensitivities of people who despite their chronological age, are immature. I cannot stand the result that generates from those struggling for power. People do not discuss content, only the labels. My time has become scarce to discuss labels, I want the essence, my soul is in a hurry… Not many candies in the bowl… I want to live close to human people, very human, who laugh of their own stumbles, and away from those turned smug and overconfident with their triumphs, away from those filled with self-importance, Who does not run away from their responsibilities .. Who defends human dignity. And who only want to walk on the side of truth and honesty. The essential is what makes life worthwhile. I want to surround myself with people, who knows how to touch the hearts of people …. People to whom the hard knocks of life, taught them to grow with softness in their soul. Yes …. I am in a hurry … to live with intensity, that only maturity can bring. I intend not to waste any part of the goodies I have left … I'm sure they will be more exquisite, that most of which so far I've eaten. My goal is to arrive to the end satisfied and in peace with my loved ones and my conscience. I hope that your goal is the same, because either way you will get there too .. "

Waves of Wellness - Mental Health Awareness