DANGERS OF PREMARITAL SEX EPISODE 2C In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted because without chastity she does not know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy does not love her unless he makes sexual advances toward her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially, but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure. Such a lifestyle will also take its toll on her ability to bond. Here’s why: Sharing the gift of sex is like putting a piece of tape on another person’s arm. The first bond is strong, and it hurts to remove it. Shift the tape to another person’s arm, and the bond will still work, but it will be easier to remove. Each time this is done, part of each person remains with the tape. Soon it is easy to remove because the residue from the various arms interferes with the tape’s ability to stick. The same is true in relationships, because neurologists have discovered that previous sexual experiences can interfere with one’s ability to bond with future partners. This does not mean that if a person is not a virgin on the wedding night, he or she will be unable to bond with a spouse. It simply means that when we follow God’s plan, we have the most abundant life possible. But when we turn from his designs and break his commandments, often we are the ones who feel broken afterward. #Dangersofpremaritalsex #Buildingsolidfoundation #2017yearofimpacts #Dachosen1

DANGERS OF PREMARITAL SEX EPISODE 2B Emotionally Unstable (a.k.a. Fatal Attraction)- You develop irrational responses to ordinary situations. Crying, fear, stress, depression, apathy, isolation, and hopelessness crowd your mind and cause your emotional growth to be stifled. You have no clue what you want anymore. One minute you are in love, the next minute you are disgusted by the very sound of his voice. You do things you later regret and say things you wish you could take back. The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. One of the most common consequences of premarital sexual activity is depression. Girls who are sexually active are more than three times as likely to be depressed as girls who are abstinent. In fact, the condition has become so predictable that the American Journal of Preventive Medicine recommends to doctors: “[Girls who are engaging in] sexual intercourse should be screened for depression, and provided with anticipatory guidance about the mental health risks of these behaviors.”Even if a girl experiments with sex once, research shows an increased risk of depression. Also, consider the fact that the rate of suicide attempts for sexually active girls (aged twelve to twenty one) is six times higher than the rate for virgins. Tragically, these girls do not realize the purity, hope, and forgiveness that they can find in Christ. Unfortunately, many young women search for meaning only in relationships with guys, instead of with God. It is not uncommon for a girl to have sex in order to make a guy like her more or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she is afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person’s heart is not made to be that close to a person and then separated. Since premarital sexual relationships rarely last, the girl’s sense of self-worth is often damaged. She may conclude that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to harmful practices, such as eating disorders. Or the disappointment she feels may drive her into a state of self-hatred. Some young women even begin to hurt their own bodies in an attempt to numb the emotional pain. Such practices never solve the problems, though. If she wants to be loved, she needs to begin by loving herself. #Dangersofpremaritalsex #Buildingsolidfoundation #2017yearofimpacts #Dachosen1

DANGERS OF PREMARITAL SEX EPISODE 2A 2. Emotional Scars One of the most painful, and yet overlooked aspects of sex outside marriage is emotional scars. What might start as fun, exciting and romantic can end in a lifetime of painful memories. Sex outside of marriage almost always ends with a broken heart. Once your heart has been broken your whole outlook on life and love are different. The bible tells us to, “guard our hearts with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) When we fail to guard our hearts we open ourselves to be deeply wounded by those who are only interested in their own sexual pleasure. Recovering from a broken heart is painful and can scar you for many years if not a lifetime. Focus on doing things that will encourage a healthy emotional life and not a broken, crushed spirit. If you feel like you are getting too emotionally involved with a guy (which is easy to do), take a few steps back and really try to look at the relationship for what it is. Are you romanticizing the relationship (making it more than it really is)? Are you thinking more highly of your boyfriend than you ought to? Does he feel the same way about you emotionally as you do towards him? These are important questions to answer before you commit yourself emotionally in a relationship. Guard your heart diligently, it’s the only one you’ve got . # Dangersofpremaritalsex # Buildingsolidfoundation # 2017yearofimpacts # Dachosen1

DANGERS OF PREMARITAL SEX (Episode 1B) More Sex = More Risk The straightforward truth is that if you choose to have sex you are placing yourself (and your partner) at risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease (STD). The more sex you have, the more risk of infection you create. STDs can have very painful long-term consequences as well as immediate health problems. They can cause: Birth Defects Blindness Bone Deformities Brain Damage Cancer Heart Disease Infertility and Other Abnormalities of the Reproductive System Mental Retardation Death Thirty years ago, people only worried about two STDs—syphilis and gonorrhea. Today, there are at least 25, and many of them have no symptoms and no cure. These include but not limited to Trichomoniasis, Scabies, Syphilis Pubic Lice Pelvic Inflammatory Disease Nongonococcal urethritis Molluscum Contagiosum Lymphogranuloma Venereum Human Papillomavirus and Genital Warts Human Immunodeficiency Virus Herpes Hepatitis Gonorrhea Chlamydia. Chancroid. Zip up and be safe. #Dangersofpremaritalsex #Buildingsolidfoundation #2017yearofimpacts #Dachosen1

DANGERS OF PREMARITAL SEX (Episode 1A) All glory and adoration be unto God. And to Jesus the author and finished of our faith and to the Holy Spirit my greatest teacher for giving me the grace and inspiration to begin this and I believe His grace will sustain me till the end and the Holy Spirit will take charge and speak to so many people through thi series. (Amen) In my last post I said we will be treating the dangers of premarital sex episode by episode and we are kicking start today with episodes and like I said earlier it is not everything I will be discussing necessarily happens to everyone, in every sexual experience. However, all of them are very real possibilities and do happen on a regular basis to teens and adults alike. There are too many of them to take lightly and it is impossible to dodge all consequences. And thinking that some of them won’t affect you and your future marriage in powerful ways — that's a lie. Perhaps more importantly, consider that these consequences will not only affect you. Every time you have premarital sex putting your partner in a situation where they can experience any or all of the following consequences. How loving or caring is it to put people in emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical danger? True love wants what is best for the other; endangering someone, for any reason, is not love. How would you like to be responsible for putting them through a great deal of unnecessary hurt? How satisfied would you be if their future marriage goes through serious problems because sex isn’t as important or intimate as it should be? Sex without any possible regrets can only be experienced in marriage. Outside of marriage, there is always the risk. Are you willing to risk yourself or the one you’re with to experience ANY of the following? “I can’t go back and change the past. I wish I had waited.” This is a statement made by a lady age 25 Every time you have sex outside marriage, regardless of whether it’s your first time or not, you are placing yourself in a dangerous situation that could change your life forever. That is why one study reported that over half of all people that had sex at least once before marriage reported that they wish they had waited. The only truly “safe sex” is to save sex until you are in a marriage. 1. Worry about pregnancy, STDs, and AIDS This look primitive and common as most people on earth knows about it but yet can not be ignored. People who engage in premarital sex often have the fear getting pregnant and contacting STDs and. AIDS. That's why you often see different posts on facebook and many other websites of people often asking questions like. We had sex some weeks ago could I be pregnant? Or I'm feeling some rashes on my private part. What could it be? That's sign of worry after premarital sex. Risk of Unplanned Pregnancy The choice to have sex brings with it the responsibility of becoming a parent. Regardless of whatever form of birth control you use, every time you have sex you risk getting pregnant (or getting someone else pregnant). If you’re not ready to be pregnant, you’re not ready for sex. Neither condoms nor birth control pills nor any other form of contraceptive are 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. In a single moment your life can change forever. Read next post for the concluding part of episode 1. #Dangersofpremaritalsex #Buildingsolidfoundation #2017yearofimpacts #Dachosen1

ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR? If anybody asks you this question, you may go angry or livid because it sounds so insulting. Why? You are never the type of person that would have an affair outside your relationship/ marriage. Well, that is because you do not know what an emotional affair is. Emotional affair does not involve sex. It happens to people who are in courtship or engaged or married but very fond of somebody else who is not their spouse but if care is not taken and brake applied, it can lead to full blown sexual affair. Emotional affair does not only happen to people in bad, unhappy marriages. It can happen to happy couples, morally sound people and deeply spiritual individuals who love God with all their hearts and hate sin. It can even happen to great men and women of God. How then do they fall into emotional affair? Emotional affair is not easy to detect at the beginning. It all starts as plain, platonic friendship with the opposite sex whom you exchange ideas with and find admirable -that's all. The friend can be a colleague at work, a fellow worker at church, a course mate, the secretary to the boss at the office or the next door neighbour. They are someone you find attractive and enjoy talking to. If you treat them like you treat any normal friends with no strings attatched, there is no problem but if you are SECRETLY fond of them, there is a BIG problem. Emotional affair starts rearing its ugly head if you are always eager to see them, anxious to hear from them and you feel sad if a day passes without getting in touch with them. It escalates when you begin sharing deep personal issues, especially relational or marital problems and you find their words very soothing -it's like Valium, you can't sleep without it. It progresses when there is subtle flirty compliments (e.g. "Each time I see you, I always feel like hugging you and staying there forever" or "Can I give you a peck please?"), sweet names calling and you never do anything to stop them infact, you love it and always look forward to hearing more from them. You idolize them while comparing them with your spouse who always falls short. You see them as your comforter, healer and the only one who UNDERSTANDS you. You begin to keep your conversations with them a secret from your spouse and deny every accusation of having any affair with them (since you are not having sex). You have chemistry for them and always sexually charged when thinking about them or talking to them. Now, PULLA BREAK!!! You are threading on a very dangerous path while consoling yourself that you are not having sex. Most people, especially good people, do not plan cheating or adultery, it "just" happened when all red flags are ignored. Face the fact that your relationship or marriage is sick that is why you are attracted to someone else and fix the problem. If you do not deal with your relationship or marital issues, you will keep pursuing them and end up sleeping with them and that is the beginning of the end of your relationship or marriage. Pull back from that person and avoid discussing anything personal with them henceforth. Come clean to your spouse and let them know you are getting attracted to someone else and you need their help. (You don't need to give them the full detail of your attraction). Stop all chats, be very polite with their calls or ignore their calls altogether if you get tempted to go back. Understand why you fell into emotional affair and take precautions lest you fall into another one. Know that you are humanand it is very possible to feel attracted towards the opposite sex, just don't pursue your object of attraction. Set boundaries. Do not entertain ungodly relationships. Have a full understanding of emotional affair and protect your heart from being tempted. Remember the bible says: "Let he that thinketh he standeth, take heed, lest he fall." Take charge of your life, do not leave your relationships to chance.